Reading the Truth
by UnknownNewsie
Summary: This story is about a girl who writes in a journal about killing herself, what happens when the newsies get a hold of it? FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

Reading the Truth   
  
Dear Journal, Sept. 21, 1900  
  
I'm soo happy that I have recieved you. Spot, my best friend, with the help of my other friends, bought you for my birthday. I am seventeen today. I din't know what I would have done if I hadn't met the newsies. They are life savers. They are my heroes!  
  
I'll write later,  
  
Journey  
  
I looked up to the faces that I have known for four years.  
  
"Youse like yer present?" Spot asked.  
  
"I love it, its da best present eva. Thank you." I walked around Tibby's hugging all the newsies. I felt so loved but so alone. After we were done with Tibby's we walked back to the Lodging House. I held my journal up against my chest. I felt an arm around my waist and looked over to see Race's face. I put my head on his shoulder for i was a little shorter than Race. I stood 5'1 with blonde hair that went to my waist and wearing newsie attire.  
  
"Youse okay Journey?"  
  
"Yeah Ise love da present."  
  
"Dats not what I asked ya." I lifted my head.   
  
"Oh yeah."I said with a giggle. "But I am fine." He nodded and let go of me to catch up with some other newsies.  
  
"Ise saw youse write in dere." I jumped at the voice but soon realized that it was only Spot. He came to my side with his hands in his pockets. "What did youse write?"  
  
"Its called a journal." I looked down at the book. "But Ise guess you can read da first entry." I handed it to him and he quickly opened it.  
  
"We're heroes?" I nodded. "Ise knew Ise was a hero but da rest. I don't know maybe dem." I slightly punched him in the shoulder.  
  
"Youse all are." He handed my journal back to me. "Youse not ever going to read dis witout me permission, youse got it?"  
  
"Yeah Ise got it."  
  
"Ise don't tink youse do. Ise know youse betta."   
  
"Yeah youse right." We finally arrived at the Lodging House. I quickly went upstairs and jumped on Race's bed.  
  
"Excuse me boirthday goil, but what do youse tink yose doing?" He said with a smile.  
  
"Sitting." I said with a big grin on my face.  
  
"Well can youse do youse sitting somewhere else?" I looked around and saw the empty bunks that I could sit on.  
  
"Dere's no room ta sit anywhere else." Race looked around and gave me a confused face.  
  
"What are youse talking bout? Dere's beds all ova dat are empty." He put a cigar in his mouth while he was taking off his shoes.  
  
"Your right." I grabbed the cigar out of his mouth dropping my journal on his bed and ran. Race stood up chasing me with a show on one foot untied. I ran into the washroom and right into the showers. I closed the curtain and turned the water on. I held the cigar up so that it wouldn't get wet. Race opened the curtain. "Aaaa Race! Ise taking a shower!" Spot ran into the washroom.  
  
"What da hell youse doing Journey?" Spot asked me.  
  
"Ise was taking a shower wit me clothes on and den Race opened my curtain. "Spot shook his head and pointed to the cigar in my hand. "And I...I was going ta smoke da cigar while Ise shampoo." Race turned off the water and grabbed his cigar. he quickly walked away. I sat in the shower with Spot still staring at me. "Ise going to sleep in here one of these days. It looks fun. And plus Ise already wet. Hey! Lets go outside!" I said as I stood up.  
  
"Youse going to get sick!" I laughed. I walked past him with my squeaky shoes. I walked into the bunkroom and all the guys started to laugh at me. I wonder what I looked like. Drenched in water with my clothes and shoes on. I walked over to Race's bed and picked up my journal and walked out and down the stairs. I walked out of the Lodging House and sat underneath a street lamp. i opened my journal and took my pencil out of my hair.  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
Its til my birthday. Now i'm going to tell you stuff that no one should ever read. ABout four years ago I became a newsie. I had no where else to go. I lived in Brooklyn and thats how I got to know Spot. Well anyways Spot is my best friend and I used to feel like I could tell him anything. Now I feel like I can't. I feel so alone. Like there is no one there for me. I know thats silly but thats how I feel. Some days I feel so...unloved, that i think of killing myself. I know people care for me but that doesn't change how I feel.  
  
"Hey Journal!" I looked up and saw Blink leaning on the post.  
  
"Telll me dat youse didn't read anytin Ise wrote!"  
  
"Don't worries, Spot wanted me to tell ya dat youse should come inside."  
  
"Well den whyse didn't he come down?"  
  
"Ise don't know."   
  
"Well den...bye." He looked at me and walked into the Lodging House. I went back to writing.  
  
My heart hurts. It aches whenever I talk to someone. Especially Spot. I love him so much and he doesn't know. Actually no one knows. I just wish that he could have the same feelings towards me. I also feel like some of the newsies don't like me and they are only my friend because Spots my best friend. I shouldn't even call him that. I mean how could i be best friends with a person that is so egolostical? And when Spots worried about me he sends other newsies to tell me. I want to yeall at him to stop. I don't need any attention. Thats how I came up with a plan.   
  
"Hey." I looked over adn it was Spot. I kepy writing.  
  
I will tell you about my plan later  
  
Love ya  
  
Journey  
  
I quickly closed my hournal and looked at Spot.  
  
"What do youse want?"  
  
"Ta get youse inside, youse going to get real sick."  
  
"And hopefully die." I mumbled.  
  
"What did youse say?"  
  
"Nothing." I stood up, went inside and I quickly changed out of my wet clothes. I went to my bed and looked for my journal. "Wheres my journal?" I lifted up my pillow and my blanket. I looked at all the newsies. "Where is it?" I looked around and saw Spot reading it. 


	2. Chapter 2

Reading the Truth 2  
  
I can't don't know any grammar, so please point it out to me. Since i hate typing there is a probable chance that i'm going to spell something wrong.  
  
Thanks to the people who reviewed! I enjoy reading them so keep posting!  
  
I ran to him and grabbed the journal out of his hands and slapped him right in the face.  
  
"Hey!" He put his hand up to his face and followed me to my bed. "Wese need ta talk bout what youse wrote."  
  
"No wese don't!" I put the journal in my pillowcase and laid on it. I pulled my blanket over me. I closed my eyes and couldn't fall asleep.  
  
"Wese need ta talk bout youse wrtiing bout me!" I sat up.  
  
"No Ise don't." I yelled. "ITs called a journal. So I can write me thoughts in it and can be read by me! Not you!" I layed back down and felt so mad. I felt Spot's hand on mine but I smacked it away. "Goodnight." I said coldly and fell asleep.  
  
"Journey, wake up."  
  
"Nooooo." I said as I turned around in my bed.  
  
"Gotta get up and sell papes." He started to shake me.  
  
"Not going to happen Spot."  
  
"Come on, youse worse den Jackey boy."  
  
"And lets keep it dat way." Spot kept shaking me.  
  
"Get up now!" I ignored him. Thats when I felt myself hit the floor. "Now are youse getting up?"  
  
"Nope." I made myself into a comfortable position.   
  
"Why aint youse waking up?"  
  
"Because I'm tired."  
  
"Youse useless."  
  
"Here dis will woik." Race said as he pured a bowl of cold water on me. I didn't budge. "Is she alive?" He said kicking my foot.  
  
"I'm alive, now leave me alone!"  
  
"Ise giving youse one more chance to wake up." Spot said. I turned over so that my face was off of the floor.   
  
"Ooo i'm scared. I'm shivering!" I said sarcastically.  
  
"Okay youse asked for it." I soon felt something hit my boob. I sat up right away.  
  
"Owww! Dat was me boob!" I opened my eyes to see Spot holding his sling shot. "Youse asshole!" I stood up and walked over to the washroom still holding my chest. All the guys were laughing at me. I just looked at them and said, "Yeah you'll laugh now but wait til Ise kick youse all in da balls!" Everyone quieted. "Yeah dats what Ise tought." I looked in the mirror and pulled my shirt down enough to see where Spot had hit me. I saw a big red spot on my left boob and it was already changing colors.   
  
"Youse okay?" Spot said as he walked over to me. "Not bad at all!" He said as he saw my mark. I turned to hit him and punched him in the stomach. He grabbed his stomach and grabbed my hand so I couldn't walk away. He soon caught his breath. He looked at me and asked, "What was dat fer?"  
  
"Youse slinging dat marble at me boob! Just be glad dat Ise didn't get youse in da balls." He gave me a smirk. He walked away and let me get ready. As soon as I was done I grabbed my journal and ran out the door to catch up with the other guys. I finally arrived at the distribution center and saw most of the newsies in line. I sat on a crate by the ramp leading towards Mr. Wiesel.  
  
"This is fer Woild employees only." I looked up at Oscar.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"yeah, so if youse aint buying papes den get yer ass out of here."  
  
"And what happens if Ise don't?"  
  
"I'll soak you."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"yeah."  
  
"Youse and what army?"  
  
"Me and me brudda."  
  
"What an army."  
  
"Youse better watch it or I'll-"  
  
"ise know, or youse will soak me."  
  
"Dats right sweetface, so leave!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oscar, youse better give up, she'll win." I looked over at Jacks face.   
  
"Dis aint over goil."  
  
"Obviously it is." He gave me a glare and left. "Hows it rolling?"  
  
"Good youse?"  
  
"Fine. Got a bruise on me boob but I'm fine."  
  
"Spot got youse hard huh?"  
  
"Hell ya and he read me journal! What kind of friend does dat?"  
  
"DOn't be mad, he's Spot."  
  
"Yeah don't I know it!"  
  
"Hey! I hoird dat!" Spot's voice rose above all the others. Even though i couldn't see him I screamed,  
  
"Good!" I walked out of the distribution center and sat on a bench in Central Park. I decided not to sell. I opened my journal and started to write. 


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Journal,  
  
How are you doing? I'm doing just dandy! ----- that was sarcasm. Spot woke me up by slinging a marble at my boob and then he told me i was useless. Maybe I am useless. Why don't I die? NO one here will care. Not even Spot. I wish that I could disappear from this world. Oh well, well last time I told you that i had a plan. Well my plan is all about killing myself. I really want to die. And Spot took it right to the edge. Well my plan was either to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge or to get into a fight and hopefully it will end for me. I don't know when I'm going to do it. I might even do it tomorrow.  
  
I looked around and saw jack and Spot staring at me. I looked back down at my journal.  
  
I know when I'm going to die. I'm going to die tonight. I can't take it. People around here are soo fake. They pretend to care for you but they really don't. I'm going to leave notes in here for some of them because I don't think I should die without saying goodbye. That would be rude.  
  
Here they are:  
  
Spot- I love you a lot. And I know you don't love me. My death has nothing to do with you. It has to deal with me and my feelings. You will never know how much I've cared for you. Behind my sarcasm and jokes is a lonely person that wishes that you could understand. And since i know you so well you won't even care what i put in here. You go from girl to girl every week. I'm just a friend and I've gotten that message. Well bye. I love you!  
  
Jack- You were always like a brother to me. And you may not understand why i decided to do this but you will soon. Trust me.  
  
Race- I'll never forget our times. Your one of the first people that befriended me. I'll never forget your sexy face.  
  
To the rest- I'm sorry that you guys had to deal with me. I didn't want to be born but I guess my mom couldn't keep me in any longer. You all kept me alive by being nice to me. And right now I feel like no one is there for me. I'm sorry.  
  
I placed the journal down and started to run. 


	4. When Journey is running, this is what Ja...

*********Thanks again to people who reviewed, i'm trying my best to get on the comp and update**************  
  
"Hey Jack." Jack turned to Spot. "Youse know where Journey went?" He shook his head. Jack looked over at where se sat.  
  
"Hey, her journal ting!" Spot and Jack walked over to the bench. Jack picked it up and started to read it.  
  
"What does it say?" Spot asked.  
  
"She's gonna kill er self." He looked up looking as if someone ran over his friend.  
  
"What?!" Spot grabbed the book from Jack and read it. "Youse get da others and lets find er. I'll go see if she's at da Brooklyn Bridge." Jack nodded and they both ran off. 


	5. Back to Journeys POV

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"Thank god I'm almost dere!" I whispered to myself as I ran to the bridge. I walked to the middle and looked around. No one was watching. I climbed over and stood on my tiptoes. "Oh god, this is high. Okay Journey on the count of three. One.....Two....."  
  
"Wait!" I looked and saw Spot running towards me. "Please let me say sometin."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Please don't jump. Ise don't want youse to. Youse are so special to me and Ise don't want ta loose ya."  
  
"You done?"  
  
"Why aint youse taking me seriously?"  
  
"Youse wit a goil every other week. Yeah right I'm special."  
  
"Ise read yer journal." I quickly froze. "Youse said dat youse love me." Tears welled up in my eyes. "So if youse love me den how come youse doing dis to me?"  
  
"I'm not doing it to you, I'm doing it to me." Spot moved closer. "I'm alone and deres no one dere fer me." I let the tears fall.  
  
"I'm here for youse."  
  
"ise don't mean as a friend, I mean as more den a friend."  
  
"Ise tink of youse more den a friend. Ise wouldn't take my time waking youse up if I didn't care. Ise wouldn't have let ye stay at me Lodging House if Ise didn't fall fer youse da second youse walked in. Ise care fer ya." I looked at him in completed shock.  
  
"Youse do?" He nodded.  
  
"Now please get off dat ledge, youse scaring me." I turned around and swung my legs over the railing and onto the bridge. Spot hugged me as I cried into his shirt. He whispered in my ear, "Ise aint ready fer youse to die." After about two hours of talking, Spot and I went back to Manhattan to tell Jack that I'm okay. As soon as we got to Manhattan we went to Tibby's. We looked in the window and saw Jack giving instructions for the search party for me. Spot took my hand and we walked into Tibby's silently.  
  
"Now Ise want Blink, Dutchy, Boots, Caps, and Specs to make a perimeter around dis area."  
  
"Big words Jackey boy." I hid behing Spot since he was tall enough.  
  
"Dis isn't da time ta be joking around Spot."  
  
"Well we son't hafta worry bout dat whole perimeter ting."  
  
"Whyse not?" Spot pulled my arm so that everyone could see me. Jack started to run towards me like he was going to kill me. Spot stopped him.  
  
"Calm down Jackey." Jack looked at me and said,  
  
"Youse had me worried. What were yous tniking? Youse crazy? I can't believe you!"  
  
"Calm down!" Spot yelled this time.  
  
"Dis is as calm as Ise going to be!" Jack yelled back. Spot let go of me so he could back Jack off. I quickly ran for the door and sat on a bench outside of Tibby's. I could hear Spot telling them about me and I could hear everyone's reactions.   
  
"Why did I do dis to myself? Why? Ise Jack right? Am I crazy?"  
  
"No I'm wrong." I stood up and turned to see Jack. "youse just had me scared."  
  
"Yeah Ise know."  
  
"Come here." I went over to him and he gave me a bear hug. "A lot of people were worried. Some of dem were freaking out more den me." I laughed.  
  
"Everybody hates me now. I'm so stupid."  
  
"no one hates youse. Dey just don't understand why youse couldn't talk to dem or have dem help you. Just remember dat youse always have someone dere fer youse."  
  
"We let go of each other. "So whats doing on wit youse and Spot?"I shrugged until I felt an arm come around my waist.   
  
"Ise hoping she'd be me goil." I looked at him and smiled.   
  
"yeah I'll be yer goil."  
  
"Good! Cause now Ise don't hafta worry bout Spot going out wit other goils. Now they are all mine!"  
  
"Jack your weird."  
  
"yeah but Ise still get da goils."  
  
"Ise don't care." Spot hugged me. "Ise got da goil Ise need right here." 


	6. Later that night

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"Hey Journey, Ise tink dis belongs to you." I looked up and saw Race holding my journal.   
  
"Thanks." He walked away with a please face. I opened my journal and ripped out the pages that I've already written on. I took out my pencil and wrote,  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
God has blessed me with a life full of friends and damily. I now feel grateful for everything since I had become so close to dying. I know now that I can trust people and know that there will always be someone for me to talk to.  
  
Love   
  
Journey  
  
P.S Bless all my heroes! :-)  
  
I looked up at all the enwsies and I felt happy. I wasn't alone anymore 


	7. 

I want to thank everyone who reviewed......i don't know, but i really liked writing this story and i might do a sequel....i don't know, its up to you people....well recommend this story or my other stories to your friends  
  
Love yall  
  
SaMi~! 


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